Return from Kobol

[falafel_musings]

Intro: Secrets & Whispers. The second in a series of Baltar/Gaeta missing scenes fics. These stories may be read together or as stand-alone oneshots.
Chapters: 1. Devotion to Good, 2. Return from Kobol, 3. After the Election, 4. The First Intern, 5. Day Zero, 6. A Walk at Midnight, 7. Awaiting the Verdict, 8. Voices in the Mind, (more to follow beyond S4 part one...)
Synopsis: Gaius Baltar returns from the planet of Kobol, suffering with shell-shock. Felix Gaeta rushes to his quarters to check that he is okay and spill out his own worries and frustrations.
Characters: Baltar and Gaeta, with appearences from Six.
Rating: PG-13 (slashy sexual themes, but still no actual sex...yet)
Disclaimer: I don't own BSG and Romo Lampkin will be my lawyer if anyone tries to sue me!
Author's Note: Thanks to  lls_mutant  who betaed this for me.  

2. Return from Kobol

Gaius couldn’t believe it. There had been nobody there to meet him when he had stepped off the rescue Raptor onto the hanger deck of the Galactica. Not one person inquiring over the health and well being of the Vice President of the Colonies. It was beyond absurd. What was this ragtag civilisation coming to?  

 

There was however a large crowd of knuckledraggers who had flooded the decks to welcome home Chief Tyrol, Cally and Seelix with blankets and embraces. Yes, they were all so relieved to see that the bloody technicians had returned alive and so crushed when they broke the news about the sad fates of Tarn and Socinus. Gaius had drifted into a lonely shadowed corner of the hanger deck; glaring at them, forgotten and estranged. The happy reunion was broken up by an armed escort who arrived to take the Chief to the brig for questioning over his relationship with Sharon Valerii.     

 

As soon as he heard that name, Gaius fled from the decks, hurrying up ladders and along corridors to get back to his quarters. If Valerii had been unmasked as a cylon agent then it wouldn’t be long before they came knocking on his door, demanding to know why his detection test had failed and dragging him down to the cells to examine the specimen. Gaius was in no mood for this business. His face was slicked with sweat and blood. The explosions were still ringing in his ears. He could still smell the gun powder in his nostrils. The first time he had fired a weapon. The first time he had taken a life. He didn’t regret it. He had done it to save the others. But the act itself still sickened and disturbed him.     
 

Gaius stepped through the door to find his quarters empty. He had hoped at least to find his Six waiting for him. He had wanted to see her lying in his bed, wearing that dazzling little red number; all eager to take advantage of this brief window of private time that remained to him. Down on the planet she had been a wise and terrifying angel to him. His fear of her was slowly diminishing his lust, but he still needed her. He still needed someone.

 

Gaius sighed into the silence, bowing his head and pinching his brow.      

 

“Oh, thank the Gods...” gasped a voice at his door. “You’re alright…”

 

Gaius barely had time to raise his eyes and turn around, before his arms were full of Felix Gaeta. The young officer hugged him tightly whilst wheezing for breath against his shoulder. He patted Gaius twice on the back, before letting him go and retreating a pace; struggling to regain his composure. Gaius smiled faintly. It still wounded his pride that Gaeta was the only crewman to welcome him back, but he was touched there was at least one person in this loathsome fleet who cared to check on him.

 

“I…I’m sorry, Doctor,” Gaeta said, flushing. “I didn’t mean to burst in on you. I...I’ve just been so worried. We would have sent a rescue party sooner, but we…we lost the fleet. I lost them. It was my fault. I was supposed to update the jump co-ordinates, but I forgot to transmit them. So then I had to network the computers to calculate the fleet’s position. I followed your navigation system the best I could. I’m sure I broke the connection before they penetrated the firewall, but...but now the computers are all twitchy. I’ve probably made things worse. Frak. This is all my fault...”

 

Gaeta looked worn out and close to tears. He rubbed his temples in slow circles, trying to settle his fraying nerves. Gaius’s arms hung stiff at his sides. He didn’t have the energy to comfort him. 

          

“It’s not your fault, Mr Gaeta…” Gaius managed flatly. “These things happen. You’re not responsible.”

 

Gaeta shook his head, rapidly. “If we make mistakes, then people die. I know not everyone made it back from Kobol. I heard about Crashdown. I saw Ensign Davis was crying in the remembrance halls. This…this is just so frakked up! We were only playing cards with him two nights ago. Are…are you okay, Doctor? Were you there when it happened? Did you see him…?”

 

Gaius swallowed hard. “He gave his life in the finest tradition of the service.”

 

Gaeta exhaled and nodded, seeming comforted by the thought that Crash had died honourably. Gaius knew different and he could only hope the young soldier had died instantly; that he had no time to realise who had dispatched him.   

 

“When I didn’t see you on the hanger deck, I thought maybe you…” Gaeta winced. “But you’re okay…it’s okay...”

 

The lieutenant took a calming breath then launched into another outburst.

 

“Did you hear that Valerii shot the old man?!” he exclaimed in a new rush of hysteria. “She’s one of them, Doctor. She’s a cylon! One of the sleeper agents I think. She didn’t seem to realise what she was doing. I…I don’t understand how this could have happened. We tested Valerii, didn’t we? Her results were clear! I’m sure of it. How could we have cleared her?! How could we…" He shook his head. "The Commander’s still in a critical condition, Doctor. It’s all so terrible. It’s all my faul…”      

     

In one swift movement, Gaius reached out a hand, cupped the back of Gaeta’s neck and then pressed his lips down hard against his mouth. His first motivation for the kiss was a simple one. He just couldn’t abide the sound of Gaeta’s wittering voice any longer. He didn’t want to hear about their failures over the cylon testing. He had little concern for Commander Adama’s recovery after the prophecies that the Six had revealed to him on Kobol. Gaius wanted Gaeta to shut up about these things. He wanted a moment’s peace from it all.

 

But more than that…Gaius realised he had been pushing all his frustrations down into the pit of his stomach. He had pushed them down so low they were now quietly raging in his loins. Gaius could feel his whole body throbbing and straining for release from that frustration. So he forced Gaeta’s lips apart. He ran his tongue over his teeth...

Yes, he was a man now. He was a man with murder in his heart and blood on his hands. He was predatory. He was savage. He needed something to devour.

 

“Doctor Baltar…” Gaeta's muffled voice gasped out.

 

The young officer broke away from his impulsive kiss, staggering back, his cheeks flushing and his eyes dazed. From his expression you would have thought that Gaius had just bitten him. He hadn't seen the lieutenant look so startled since the time he had cornered him in the toilet stalls to harass him about the Godfrey photograph.

 

“I…I need to get back to the bridge…” he stammered.

 

Gaeta nodded his head several times, inwardly confirming this to himself. It seemed he was dealing with the kiss by not acknowledging it had even occurred, as if it would be improper to mention such a thing.

Gaius clung to his sleeve, his nails digging into the fabric.   
 

“Stay…” he breathed, trying to reel him in closer.

 

“No!” Gaeta yelled, tugging himself free. “I can’t frakking stay! I’m on duty. I have to go back. I promised Dee I would only be fifteen minutes. I’ve already been more like twenty minutes! It…it’s crazy up there, Doctor. Everything’s frakked up! The Colonel has just declared martial law. Now he’s off boozing and frakking with his wife again. He’s leaving me with the mess! The angry calls, the protest threats…these people don’t understand I’m just following orders! It...it’s so frakked up!!”       

 

Gaeta’s words echoed in his damaged ears. Gaius had known the young officer for several months now but he didn’t think he had ever heard him speak so many words or heard him cursing in so many sentences. Everyone has their limits. Gaius exhaled, shaking his head. He was beginning to feel irritated by Gaeta in return. The boy had come barging into his rooms…for what? A cuddle and a sympathetic ear? Frak that. Gaius had quietly decided that Gaeta's troubles were nothing compared to the trauma he had been put through on that planet. If Gaeta was now invading his private quarters then Gaius wanted him quiet and naked and face down on his mattress. If that wasn't on the cards then Gaeta could get back to his precious duties for all he cared. He didn't wish to listen to any more of this tedious whining.     
 
"Very well,” Gaius blurted. “Don't let me keep you, Mr Gaeta."
 

Gaeta fell silent, recovering his breath and still lingering in spite of his dismissal. He looked regretful now as if his fierce dedication to his post had robbed him of an opportunity that he feared would never come to him again. Gaius could taste it on his lips. Gaeta wanted this as much as he did. No, he wanted it more...

"There...there just isn't time, Doctor..." he said sheepishly. “It wouldn’t be fair to Dee. She hasn’t had any rack time in hours. She’s exhausted. Neither of us has been off-duty for…for…”

Gaeta faltered and squinted at his watch. It seemed he had now lost track of exactly how long he and Dualla had been stuck on the bridge, trying to hold things together while their commanding officer was off sucking from his bottle. It seemed this loss of order was throwing Gaeta into turmoil. The lieutenant swayed and stared numbly. He was weary. He was vulnerable. Gaius could have taken advantage of this and finished his conquest if he wanted. He decided he better not though. He too feared for the fleet if Felix Gaeta was not on watch in the CIC.      

"Back to work, Lieutenant," Gaius said sharply, using his rank to snap him into focus, something that Roslin had advised him to do with the military crew when they were losing their nerve.
 
It had the desired effect. Gaeta blinked and pulled himself together.    

 

“Right away, sir,” he said, even though he was under no obligation to call Gaius ‘sir’.

 

With that, Gaeta turned on his heels and marched swiftly out of his sleeping quarters. Gaius was left alone once more in his room that seemed even emptier than it had done before.

 

"You scared him,” said a voice by his side. “Be careful, Gaius. You’ll be needing him later. Your paths are aligned together.”  

 

Gaius turned to see his Six leaning her back against the wall. She was still dressed in the heavy black jacket that made her look more like a philosopher than a temptress. You scare me, Gaius thought moodily and he knew that she could read the fear inside his head, like his mind was a sheet of Braille.  

 

Why was the Six being so stern and serious with him these days? She used to enjoy the thrill of seduction as much as he did. They had been sexual hedonists together. Six had made no secret of her own attractions towards certain women on the ship and she had often said that she was curious to see him with another man. While they both knew that Gaius preferred the ladies, he had confessed to her that he had some modest experience with his own sex. Why, at the tender age of seventeen he had given a blow job to his comprehensive school teacher just to get the old pervert to sign his scholarship papers. Not much of a liaison; more a case of Gaius getting to his knees and thinking of Caprica. But there had been other more pleasurable incidences since then. Yes, some of those wilder parties where gender lines had become blurry over one too many drinks and one too many naked bodies cramming the mattress space.

 

But with Gaeta it was different. He was a challenge, a peevish little challenge. Gaius couldn’t for the life of him understand why the lad was being so troublesome to get into bed. It was clear that Gaeta adored him. Truly he was more enamoured of him than most of the women he had slept with in his life. So why wasn’t Gaius being allowed the same caresses and indulgences that he usually enjoyed with those who were besotted with him?    

 

“Don’t worry,” said Six, her voice softening. “He’s still your friend, Gaius. I dare say you’ll have your way with him next time. He may not be a woman, but he has a secret beauty of his own...even if you don’t see it yet.”

 

Gaius lowered his head and shuffled towards her, hoping that she might take him in her arms and guide him to his bunk. Six sidestepped his advances, wrinkling her nose and regarding him with a critical eye.

 

“You should shower, Gaius,” she advised. “They’ll be calling you soon.”

 

Six’s tone was blunt enough to let Gaius know that she would not be joining in the wash room. She sat at his couch, pursing her lips and resting her chin on her knuckles. Gaius undressed in front of her, not even caring to hide his poor neglected erection. Six paid him no further attention as he slipped into the shower cubical. For the first time Gaius decided it was a good thing the water on this ship was always frakking cold.


3. After the Election